Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
