Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
