If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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