Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
