yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize