Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
