I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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