just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
