Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
