Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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