is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
