I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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