Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
