White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Couch. On fire.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
