I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
