State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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