you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
