dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Randomize