Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
