We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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