I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
