I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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