So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
