I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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