There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
