I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just want to make out with him forever
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
