You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
