why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
