We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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