I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The police scanner is talking about you again....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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