allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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