I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
