in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
