arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I need a burrito and a hug.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
