The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
