Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
