I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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