Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
