I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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