There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize