My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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