I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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