i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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