This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
