Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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