watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
