first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
