i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Randomize
