come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
