You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
