at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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