Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
