i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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