we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
