DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
