If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
