This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
