you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
