Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
