well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
