I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
operation harelip BJ is a go
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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